Falling in all sorts of love with this video right now…
It’s true - I’ve posted about marriage a lot lately. And here I go again. But when I read something like this, my heart practically faints in relief. And I think, this is how it’s supposed to be. I could not be more blessed with the married friends I have in my life, who are constantly pointing me to the Cross. They love each other with such grace and encouragement - it’s hard not to feel loved in the overflow. Take a moment to read this sweet letter by Mollie to her husband Aaron on their “six monthiversary” - I’m certain you will see what I mean.
“Within this Christian vision for marriage, here’s what it means to fall in love. It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of the person God is creating, and to say, ‘I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to his throne. And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, ‘I always knew you could be like this. I got glimpses of it on earth, but now look at you!”
Tim Keller, The Meaning of Marriage
On the tip top of a mountain somewhere, or at the local bed & breakfast in the center of town. Scarce invitations but each incredibly meaningful. Just a sweet, intimate time with the closest of friends and family. Soft and white. Faded sky. Twinkling lights. A time not of busyness or agendas. But a time of rest for everyone. I think I’ll wear a cardigan over my white dress. And the same faded gold hair barrette I’ve worn every day for the last many years. I suppose my sweetheart can wear whatever he wants, as well. I think I’ll love him all the same. The morning will be slow. A bubble bath in my grandmother’s white porcelain tub. Coffee. Breakfast on the back porch rockers. And quiet time to reflect and give thanks. This season of my life has made me appreciate the beauty in small things. Intimate moments that celebrate the goodness of God.
i miss college. dancing on rooftops. whipping my hair back and forth. carefree. simple.
(don’t know why this is so blurry)
I spent the course of this past holiday weekend being lazy and pampered at my grandparents’ house in Pinehurst, North Carolina. It’s less than a 4-hour drive from Richmond, and constantly worth the trip. This weekend was no different from the countless others I’ve spent with my grandparents, except this time I was teetering on the verge of some big life decisions. And, that my good Richmond friend, Casey, tagged along for the easy breezy weekend.
Things you should know: My grandparents are very much the tip top of my family’s hierarchy. In other words, they still get the final say on so many things, and they’re approval typically means the most out of anyone else’s. So in cases like big life decisions, I try to get them on-board with my thought process—much easier said than done. My family, though so proud of me, thinks I march a bit to my own beat. We often raise our voices at one another, and someone stomps out of the room (usually me) when topics like marriage and finding a man to spend the rest of my life with come up at the dinner table. My family’s beautiful and wonderful intentions are only to ensure I have a safe, healthy and good life. But they know, and I know that I don’t like playing it safe. I like risks. I like the road less traveled. I’m okay with eye rolls and disapproving head shaking because I believe life is that much more full and that much more beautiful when it’s slightly out-of-control. And by no means am I this crazy bungee-jumping dare devil, “live life on the edge”, couch-surfing every night, I’ll sleep when I’m dead—kind of girl. I just mean to say that when it comes to my family, it often takes a little more time and coaxing for them to see my side of things.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve been interviewing for two incredible companies here in Richmond. One is a pretty big deal. It’s a large, international company that very rarely offers interviews for entry-level positions. And most of all, they’re the kind of company who you don’t say “no” to if offered a job. Then, there’s this other company. They’re small and only two years old. But they’re going places. They have a lot ahead of them, and a story I’m practically dying to be a part of. When rationalizing on paper which would be the better offer, hands down the larger, big-name corporation. But, there’s something about this other little company that’s stolen my heart. I see myself there. I see myself watching it grow, and seeing its story unfold before my eyes. I see myself being a part of something pretty spectacular. But it would be a risk, no doubt. So you can see where talking to my grandparents could get a little difficult.
Well, the majority of the weekend was me talking about both interviews, giving reasons why they’d both be great places to work, and beefing up the smaller company so it wouldn’t get pummeled in the competition. But my grandparents continually favored the larger, more glamorous company.
Finally, at dinner on Sunday night, my grandmother looked at me and said, so sweetly, “What do you need from me, baby? Do you need anything?”
I could think of a thousand things I needed. New A.G. Stevie Cords from Anthropologie. A pair of gold, strappy heels for Linley’s wedding. A new desk chair I’ve been eyeing from Ikea. But really, I knew all I needed was one thing…
“Trust, Grandma. I need your trust.”
“Of course, Laura. Always.”
“No, Grandma. I need you to really trust me. Because I might do something drastic. I might take that job with the little company if they offer me the position. It’s not practical to you and Grandpa, I know. But it’s what I want. I spent all of journalism school writing about other people’s stories, interviewing others about their amazing accomplishments, and I’m done. I want the person with the story this time to be me.”
I shut-up quickly after saying everything I wanted to scream all weekend. Breathed deeply. And waited for my grandmother’s rebuttal.
But she did something different. She took her time before answering my explosion of words. Composed, and looking at Casey sitting right next to me, she said, “She’s everything I wanted her to be, and more.”
What! I couldn’t believe it. She wasn’t going to fight me? She really trusted me? And as I let the words slowly fall all around me, I realized it was the greatest compliment my grandmother has ever given me.
The next day while driving back to Richmond, Casey and I recalled the sweet moment with my grandmother. I told her that it was not only the most wonderful, restful thing anyone has ever said to me, but I felt so clearly that it was something God was saying to me. Like I wasn’t a screw-up for ignoring all the eye rolls and head shakes. And that I wasn’t just flying by all these red flags and giant caution signs in my life. But that I am exactly, exactly who He always wanted me to be. And that I can dare to live this crazy, slightly out-of-control, based on a true story—kind of life.